


Fortune Favors the Bold

by starlight_and_seafire



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-25 22:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15650295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight_and_seafire/pseuds/starlight_and_seafire
Summary: Rey asks for what she wants.Poe misunderstands.





	1. Chapter 1

No one would ever call the back of the hangar romantic.

It was dark, the kind of gloomy that calls to mind spooky stories your friends told you late at night in some abandoned house before someone jumped out of the shadows to scare you. The humidity and the grime clung to your skin the moment you walked into the area.

It certainly wasn’t the kind of atmosphere that’d inspire romantic feelings.

So you can’t blame him for being just a bit - well - entirely gobsmacked when Rey knocked her knee into the side of his leg where they’d been sitting swapping stories and asked “can I kiss you, Poe?”

He’s pretty sure his jaw hit the floor, that this pretty young Jedi who could inspire such awe, not just for her skill but for her bravery and perseverance, and just plain kindness, asked if she could kiss at him.

He was shocked, sure, but not stupid. Clearly he wouldn’t say no to what he had been longing for since, well, _kriff_ , since she rescued them at Crait, but he’s pretty sure he took too long to respond. Her face morphed from hope, to amusement, and then just plain acceptance, before he managed to emit some vaguely garbled version of yes. Luckily, he nodded as well, cause he’s not entirely sure what that sound was.

She grins, the shape of it both sweet and sharp, before leaning towards him. One of her hands comes up to cup his cheek, and he only has half a moment to wonder if the scruff is too rough on her hand before she presses her lips to his.

He just barely manages to choke back a moan at this simple touch, _stay cool, Dameron_ , even as the other part of his brain reminds him that he has absolutely no chill around her.

Her lips are just wet enough to glide smoothly over his own, as she manages to tilt his head just enough to deepen the kiss. It’s barely started, and he already wants to lose himself in it. He had wondered sometimes, how much experience she had with this, with other people, whether Jakku was even a place where she could find someone good enough for her ( _there’s no one good enough for her_ ) to do this with. But she’s clearly had some experience, or maybe she’s just a natural, as good at this as she has been with everything else when she’s tried her hand at them. She pulls back just enough to nip at his lower lip gently, before pressing forward once more and swiping the tip of her tongue where her teeth had just been.

He feels like he can barely keep up with her. He wants this to be good for her, wants to do this again and again and again with her, but he kind of feels like he’s been run over by a bulldozer, but in a good way.

He feels a gust of air over his lips as she pulls back briefly to change the angle once more before diving back in. One of his hands goes up into her hair, cradling that one knob that she still wears while leaving the rest of it down. He’s got his other hand at her waist and he can feel her moving, and one of her legs straddles his own as she moves to sit in his lap, and _whoa_ , this is proceeding quickly but he can’t complain.

Her tongue is in his mouth, caressing that little area behind his teeth, and she grinds down, and he can’t help but moan, loudly, the sound of it echoing and reverberating in his ears.

Maybe this is moving a little too fast. They’re in a public place, and the people he commands could walk in and see them, and he doesn’t want Rey to think of him as just a fuck, no, not when he’s quite possibly been in love with her since he introduced himself to her at Crait.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he manages to utter, the sound of it barely convincing to his own ears, as breathless as it was.

She stops, and pulls back to look him in the eyes before her gaze drops to his lips once more. It’s a very distracting look, and for a moment there, he forgets what he wants to say, he wants to say nevermind, pull her back in, and keep on kissing her.

But a clanging, a dropped tool or a droid bumping into something, sounds from the distance and he remembers.

“Maybe this isn’t the best place,” he says.

She glances around and turns back to him with a teasing grin on her face. “You don’t think so?”

He laughs. “We’re not all crammed together on the Falcon anymore. Bet there’s somewhere more private to do -” and he struggles to find the word, gestures around lamely “this.”

She shrugs, and hops off his lap, and it’s a little sad at how bereft he feels from that one small movement, but part of what he’s hoped for, for a very, very long time, has just come true.

He’s just about to stand up and follow her, maybe kiss her some more, and he knows, inevitably, he’ll confess his feelings (or at least, some of them, _I told you to keep cool, Dameron, don’t scare her off already_ ) cause he’s always worn his heart on his sleeve and he can’t keep his mouth shut to save his life …

And then his comm went off.

He pulls it from his belt and punches the button to turn it on. “Dameron.”

Connix’s tinny voice sounds from the tiny speaker. “The general needs you in the command center ASAP.”

Well, he’s got his orders. “On my way,” he says, turning his comm back off.

Rey looks at him, a rueful expression on her face. “Later, maybe?”

And there’s a “later” involved now, and his heart beats wildly in his chest, so hopeful. He nods, maybe a little too eagerly, but she’s kind enough not to laugh at him, an amused lilt playing at her perfect lips.

In retrospect, maybe he should have asked her what it meant.

\--

He’s not complaining. Not at all. It’s just _this_ wasn’t what he was expecting.

But again, he’s not complaining.

It feels wrong to complain when he just wants _more_.

His back is pressed against the wall of the storage closet located just off the main route to the mess hall. If he listens closely, he can hear feet tramp by as their owners head off to dinner. He had been headed there himself, when he spotted Rey on the other side of the hall.

His breath caught in his throat when she had smiled so brightly at him when their eyes locked. She sped up then, going from her usual determined walk to a quick trot, and his mind wandered off for a brief moment as he let himself imagine a similar scene, one where he was returning from a mission and saw her pushing through a crowd only for them to meet in a passionate kiss, the _I love you, I missed you_ passing from their lips between quick, fervent kisses.

Or, you know, maybe it’ll be him pushing through the crowd as she returns from a mission as the conquering hero. That’s … actually even hotter, he thinks.

He sees her take a quick look around (and he just barely has time to wonder about that) before she’s grabbed his bicep and has turned him around and pushed him inside the closet.

It’s dark, and a little damp, but he doesn’t much care as Rey had pressed herself to his chest, and he can feel her so close, chest to thigh, while her hands are grasping his face to tug him into a better angle as she kisses him. He’s just barely managing to keep up with her, and when she goes to suck at his bottom lip, he gasps into her mouth as his brain goes fully offline.

He pulls her a little tighter to him and runs a hand down her spine. She groans, and her head dips down to press little sucking kisses along the column of his neck.

He’s wondering just how private this closet really is, really wishes they’d actually make it somewhere more private for once so he could take his time, to really appreciate her, to savor – whatever this is – and maybe have a chance to show her what she means to him.

She nips at the thin, sensitive skin where his neck meets shoulder, and his bodies response is a loud stomach growl.

She laughs, burying her head in his neck, and while he really appreciates the feel of her body-shaking laugh, he can’t help but laugh in response, too.

“Maybe we should get you fed, first,” she says into the skin near his collarbone.

“That,” he starts saying, as his stomach growls once more, “might be a good idea.”

She pulls back, mirth apparent on her face, and he uses the hand that was cradling her head to smooth down her hair, while he pulls the other one from where it had been pushed up under her shirt (and he vaguely recalls petting the soft skin just above her waist, but for the life of him, he can’t remember having put his hand there in the first place.)

He’s usually never less than energetic, even when hungry and sleep-deprived, but he’s still got the idea that he’s gonna need all the sustenance he can get to keep up with her.

She cocks her head to the side, as if she was listening to something he couldn’t possibly ever hope to hear, before practically dragging him out of the closet. It’s quick work to get food, and although they sit alongside some members of his squadron to eat, neither of them seem eager to savor their meal. Rey nods along to something Jess is saying while more or less shoveling food in her mouth, sending sly grins and conspiratorial winks his way every once in a while.

He just tries not to stare at Rey the entire time. Based on some of the weird looks Snap and Kare have been giving him though, he’s got the feeling he’s not succeeding.

When Rey swallows down the last bite of her meal, his eyes follow the movement of her finger as it swipes along her lips to remove any lingering crumbs. He almost misses her speaking, he’s so distracted.

“You ready to go look at your fighter? Maybe we can figure out what’s making that noise when you’re utilizing your targeting systems.”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Gotta get that looked at. It could mess up the, uh, targeting systems, if it’s, um, not fixed. Right. Let’s go.”

She’s clearly better at subterfuge than him, by the way Jess is rolling her eyes and Kare is hiding her face in her hands. But they won’t gossip.

Hopefully.

He follows her the entire way back to his room, and she waits for him to punch in the code to his room.

When the door slides open, he hears her say “finally” softly under her breath and he turns around to ask her what she means, but he figures it out pretty quickly when she’s pressing herself against him again and pushing him inside. Her hand is cupping the back of his head and he barely manages to get a breath in before she’s kissing him, sweet and strong.

“You don’t have any meetings or any other plans tonight, right?”

He doesn’t understand how she expects him to think while she’s nipping at his lips and one of her hands is running down his chest, but he manages to call upon a higher power just long enough to consider her question.

“No, nothing.”

“Good,” she answers, sliding her hand back up to work open the top button of his shirt. “No interruptions then.”

She maneuvers them to his bed, pushing him to sit down while she climbs in his lap in a way that’s eerily reminiscent to their time in the hangar. She’s gotten several of his buttons undone and pushed her hands into his shirt, and a shiver runs down his spine as she runs her nails lightly against his chest.

He wants her, so badly, and just barely manages to pull his mouth away from the long column of her neck to ask “You sure about this?”

 “Of course. I’m the one who asked you.” She looks at him, an odd look on her face. “Are you sure?”

A million wild Rancors couldn’t make him say no. “Yeah, absolutely.” She grins, bright and happy as she leans back down to kiss him again, sweet and gentle, even as her hands push him backwards to make him fall against the bed, even as her hips roll into his.

A million feelings are coursing through his blood and he feels like he can barely contain them all.  She’s wonderful, and she’s amazing, and he wants her so badly. And he’s thrilled, so over the moon, feels like he’s flying even without his ship, at the prospect that she wants him at all.

He just wished he knew exactly what this was.

\--

He always gets sleepy after orgasm. He’s been known to barely sit still, get lost in a problem or fixing his ship for so long that when he comes up for a break he’s surprised to see the sun has risen on a new day. He comes from a long line of folks who could run on little energy, who could stay awake days at a time, run days-long missions in the jungle with nothing more than a few ration packs, maybe some caf, and a stim or two.

But once he’s come, he’s ready to snuggle up and fall asleep after some good old-fashioned cuddling.

He’s struggling to keep his eyes open even as he wraps his arms around Rey, pulling her back against his chest as he buries his nose in her hair. She moves willingly, though a little uncertainly.

“Is this okay?” His words are slurred, but he manages to get them out.

“Yeah. I just,” she says, trailing off.

“You just what?”

“I guess – what is this? I’ve never done this before.”

“When you say you’ve never done this …” he says, confused, and _oh gods_ …

He can practically feel her eyes rolling. “This – whatever it is we’re doing now.”

He relaxes somewhat, closes his eyes again even as he turns that around in his head. “Cuddling. Snuggling. Whatever you want to call it. Enjoying the afterglow.”

“Cuddling,” she says, slowly, as if tasting how the word feels in her mouth. She wiggles around a bit, as if to get a little more comfortable.

“We don’t have to stay like this,” he says, and he’s really struggling to fight off sleep now. He loosens his arm as he feels her turning around to face him, but she otherwise remains where she is under his arm.

“You’re about to fall asleep,” she says, softly.

“Mmm.” He thinks that’s enough to signify his agreement to her words. He’s already halfway between the worlds of sleep and wake.

“How long do we stay like this?”

He’s just on the edge of going under and struggles to find the right words. _Forever_ , he wants to say. _I’ll stay by your side however long you’ll let me._ He finally settles on something close to the latter thought, something that hopefully won’t have her running for the hills. “However long you’d like.”

His eyes are closed, but he thinks he can feel her smile against the thin skin of his neck. He never thought that she might have experience with sex, but not with something as simple as cuddling, platonic or otherwise. He’ll have to give her more, more hugs, more cuddles, more affection, as much as she’ll let him give.

The last thing he feels before falling asleep are her lips pressing a soft kiss against his neck.


	2. Chapter 2

His alarm sounds at the same moment the lights automatically come on in his room. It’s not often that he sleeps in long enough to hear that sound, but it never gets easier or more pleasant to deal with. Except today. Today, even as he struggles out of sleep, a surge of something like bliss takes up root in his chest, with the knowledge that he’s waking up next to Rey.

He blearily wipes his face with one hand, hoping he hasn’t drooled in his sleep or something equally as embarrassing. He pats at the part of the bed beside him, and finally, his brain comes on long enough to realize that the sheets next to him are cold.

He opens his eyes and glances around and confirms what his brain is telling him.

Rey is long gone. He sighs, and sits up, grimacing at the feel of the cold floor against his bare feet and the realization that he had gotten his hopes up for… well, he’s not sure what it was exactly, but there was no reason for her to stay with him, not after a quick ( _great, amazing, worldchanging)_ fuck, and some nice cuddling in the warm afterglow.

You don’t necessarily need to have feelings for another person to appreciate either the sex or the snuggling. Just because he might want something more with her, that he might want everything with her, the sex, the snuggling, the sleeping in and waking up together, exchanging the _I care for you_ and _I adore you_ and _please stay with me (always and always)_ doesn’t mean she wants the same thing.

She’s long gone, the bed cold. He has no doubt that she would have stayed if she had wanted to stay. After all, she’s asked for what she’s wanted at every stage leading up to this. He has no doubt that if she wanted more, she would have said so. Wanting more with him clearly wasn’t something she wanted. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up.

He sighs again and struggles to his feet to get ready for the day.

\--

She catches up to him again that evening and it’s the same thing. She tugs him out of the mess hall by his hand and heads back to his room. It’s hot, and intense, and he would almost say he came embarrassingly quick if she hadn’t gotten off first.

She doesn’t talk during it, and though he normally can’t keep himself quiet during sex, he’s learning that he can nip at her collarbone or press kisses to that sensitive patch of skin beneath her ear or on her pink lips whenever he’s too close to revealing anything that would have her headed for the hills.

He might want _more more more_ with her, but he’ll take whatever precious time with her he can get. He can learn to ignore that longing in his chest.

She settles down into his arms a lot more quickly this time around, but she’s still gone in the morning.

\--

And she’s gone again the morning after that. And the one after that.

He always feels content in that first moment each morning he becomes aware of the world again, when his body is warm and the fine haze of sleep is still seeped into the corners of his brain, but the moment after that hurts, when his arms tighten around nothing but air.

He doesn’t know why he would expect anything different. This is not like that. He should be happy that she lets him be part of her life at all.  There’s no need to add his unrequited love to the mix. One day she’ll fall in love with someone more suitable for her, someone better than him, someone who’s not a broken and workaholic pilot trying to atone for his failures. For now, she deserves a little fun, a little stress relief, or whatever this is. He can’t bring himself to ask for anything more, no matter how much he might want it, not when she already has the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders.

\--

The General receives word that one of their intelligence operatives has garnered critical data about a weapons design. They should be celebrating the news, celebrating their chance to gain inside information about the makeup of a new weapon, so they could learn how to defend against it, and possibly even fight back against it.

There’s only one problem, however. The operative is stuck in a dense, forested jungle, with no transport out, on a mid-rim planet about a half-days hyperspace journey from their current base. First Order stormtroopers patrol the area, tie fighters take regular reconnaissance flights around the planet too. The First Order doesn’t seem to know their operative is there yet, but it’s likely only a matter of time before they catch some clue that there is someone in their midst who doesn’t belong.

This is a mission for Black Squadron.

Snap and Karé are assigned to their X-Wings, while he and Jess take one of the smaller convoy ships so they can bring their operative back. And for once Poe won’t be taking the lead pilot’s seat. Jess gets that honor instead.

While the rest of them suit up in their pilot’s orange, he’s donning gear designed to camouflage him in that forested area. He might be his mother’s son, the best pilot in the galaxy, but he’s learned a few lessons from his father, a highly-skilled Pathfinder during his time in the Rebellion. Jess will set the ship down, and Snap and Karé will keep an eye out from above, while he tries to meet up with their operative to escort them back to the ship and then to the base.

If they’re lucky, they’ll be back in two, maybe three days. But they’ve gotta leave now.

The heads of their Intelligence and Pathfinder divisions escort him to the ship, talking his ear off with last minute details. He’s paying attention, of course he is, a soldier through and through, but he can’t help that his head is swiveling back and forth hoping for a chance to see his Jedi one last time before he leaves.

He mentally corrects himself. She’s no ones, least of all his. But they’re friends, and friends say goodbye to each other, right?

He’s got to get himself under control, before he loses his heart in this whole thing. Well, he thinks, it’s a lot too late to not get his heart involved. But maybe if he keeps telling himself that it’s not like this for her, maybe he can protect his heart from getting too hurt when she’s done with him, when she finally finds someone who is good enough for her, someone worthy of her, when she finds someone she can fall in love with.

Moments before lift-off, he’s chatting with Jess as she leads them through their pre-flight checklist and listening to the banter that comes in over his headphones from Snap and Karé. He’s just reviewed the readouts from the engines when he’s hit with the sudden, inexplicable urge to look up.

The sun is hitting at just the wrong angle against the ship’s glass and he’s momentarily blinded by the glare. Once his vision clears though, he feels blinded all over again. Standing just off from the main crowd is Rey, and she’s a vision in the sunlight, the sun glinting gold off her hair and an almost ethereal glow around her. He wonders briefly if this is what the Force looks like. And then he feels a light punch to the arm.

Jess is glancing at him, a sly smile on her face. “I asked about the fuel pumps?”

He clears his throat and looks over at the controls. “Yeah, good to go.”

She laughs softly in the back of her throat, and he’s just glad that the normally brash Pava has withheld any further comments. It unnerves him slightly, but he takes the chance to look back outside.

He hears the command group give them clearance to take off, and just as the ship lifts into the air, he sees her raise her hand in a wave.

His hand itches to wave back, but he needs to finish the prep for the hyperspace jump, and he’s got the oddest feeling that Jess is watching him from the corner of her eye. He clears his throat and tries to pretend that he’s not still looking outside, down towards the base – towards Rey – until both are no longer in sight.  

\--

He’s shocked. The mission goes off without a hitch. He doesn’t scrutinize too closely the feeling that it’s much more normal – much more expected – for things to go sideways. Figures it can’t hurt him on missions to expect the unexpected. Things aren’t always what they seem, after all.

The operative sits behind Jess, and he barely has to turn sideways from the co-pilot’s seat to see her. A wide grin practically bisects her face in half, and she’s sitting straight up, clearly too excited to relax. She’s practically radiating a giddy sort of energy, especially when her hand goes up to tap against a pocket on her chest, where he knows the data chip is probably being stored.

She laughs out loud, and he glances back at her, recognizes that sort of heady excitement that courses through a person after a successful mission.

She sees him looking. “I’m sorry, I just can’t help it.”

He shrugs, a smile painted on his own face. “Nah, I get it.”

Jess cuts in. “You’re talking to a guy who whoops and hollers throughout any firefight, and practically dances a jig after every successful mission,” she says, shooting a wink Poe’s way.

“I only danced the jig the one time. It’s not nearly so formal most other occasions, though.”

The operative giggles, and the sound seems so young and innocent that it’s hard to imagine her as one of their most seasoned operatives.

A question burns at him. “How’d you do it?”

“How did I do what? Get the info?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it was the middle of the night, and under the cover of darkness I scaled the side of a building. I cut through a skylight, set up a rope, and rappelled into the building. I made my way to an elevator shaft and descended a few more floors until I got to the level I was looking for. The data chip was sitting in a lockbox on a pedestal in the middle of the room, so I made my way through a series of motion-detecting lasers to get to the box. The alarm sounded anyway, and I ran out of there amongst a storm of blaster fire.”

At the end of her story, he sits there stunned, just blinking at her. Her face is so serious, so certain, that he can’t quite tell if she’s fucking with him.

She takes pity on him, however, and bursts out in laughter. “You should see the look on your face!” Pava reaches her hand behind her seat and she and the operative exchange a high-five.

She laughs for what feels like a full minute, and he can’t help but join in.

“You know how I did it? Once the morning shift started going into the building, I walked right in there with them. I found an office with the proper console, downloaded the information onto a data chip, and walked right back out.”

Honestly, he’s not sure that she still isn’t fucking around with him. “Really?”

“Really.”

“No one stopped and questioned you? Noticed anything was amiss?” He’s had to sneak into places hidden inside suitcases, her story seems almost impossible.

“Not at all. You see, after doing this work for so long, there’s one key lesson I’ve learned, and it’s served me well every single time.”

She’s one of their best, he knows. He would be an idiot not to find out what that lesson is. “And what’s that?”

“Fortune favors the bold, Poe.”

\--

In the time it takes to travel through hyperspace, he can’t help but turn the operative’s words over and over in his mind. Maybe luck will be on his side if he just goes for it, straight on.

He can do it. He can tell Rey how he feels. One part of his brain tells him it’s next to impossible that she’ll return his feelings, but he’s pretty certain that she won’t laugh at him. She’ll end things, but she’ll let him down gently (or as gently as she knows how, but she’s a good person, so it shouldn’t be too bad.) They’ll probably remain friends, at least.

But the hopeful side of his brain whispers that if there’s a chance that she returns his feelings at all, he has to try. Maybe he’ll get lucky. He’s gonna tell her.

He just needs some sleep first.

The adrenaline has already started wearing off by the time they enter atmo around the base. Except for a few catnaps here and there, he’s been awake for the last two and a half days, and it’s a little late for yet another stim. He figures he can delay his own debrief for at least twelve hours, and get a hot meal, a shower, and some sleep (and he doesn’t even particularly care what order.)

He delegates the post-flight checklist to Pava despite her protestations (“you’re the lead on this ship, Jess!”) and starts making his way into the base. He’s got a strange, niggling sensation at the base of his skull, like he’s forgetting something, but he can’t quite manage to figure it out.

At least, not until someone grabs his hand, and starts tugging him down the hall.

His sleep-deprived body is on auto-pilot and follows after Rey, no questions asked, not even when she brings him straight to his room and keys in the code he’s pretty sure he never gave her. He’s pretty sure he’s smiling like an idiot though, as she strolls in like she belongs there.

The second the doors close, she turns towards him and gives him an assessing once-over before reaching her hands up to his shoulders to push his jacket off before hanging it on the back of the chair next to him. When her hands move to the buttons on his shirt, his brain starts catching up to her motions.

“Wait, Rey,” he mutters, a little too tired to do more than mumble the words. “I want to, really, but I may be too tired for this?” And he kinda hates the rational part of his brain that forced out those words, but he’s tired and he thinks he should talk to her first about his earlier revelation. Then again, there’s the part of brain that whispers, _this is Rey, you moron, and you’re too tired? Moron._

She raises her eyebrow at him, a quirk to her lips. “And what do you think this is exactly?”

“Sex?” He didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but he can’t quite figure out what she meant by her question.

 A wide, toothy grin spreads across her face as she begins to laugh. He’s so confused right now.

“I didn’t think you were into the kind of sex where you fall asleep halfway through, but if you’re into that sort of thing, we can talk about that later,” she says, and he thinks she’s making fun of him a bit right now, but he can’t bring himself to care as long as it makes her smile like that. “But no. You smell, and I’m not sure what that is in your hair, but you need a shower and sleep. Here,” she says, reaching into her pocket, and pulling out something wrapped in foil. “Eat this.”

She hands him the protein bar as she maneuvers him to sit in the chair. He goes to take a bite as she kneels in front of him to take off his boots. He doesn’t quite know what’s going on, so he lets it happen, until she’s helping him stand back up and leading him to the ‘fresher.

“I don’t understand.” Well, there’s never been much of a filter between his brain and mouth, so he’s not surprised to hear himself speaking.

“Understand what?” She helps him step out of his pants before starting to work on her own clothes.

“You don’t have to do this. I mean, it’s great! You’re really super nice for bringing me food, and all of this, and this is great, but I don’t understand why you’re doing this?”

She looks a bit puzzled now, a little unsure as her eyes dart around the room before looking back at him. “But Rose said that people in relationships normally help each other out. Take care of each other. Like she said your mission might come in late and you’d be hungry, so she suggested that I could bring you food? But the mess was shut down for the night, and they only had the protein bars sitting out, and . . . are you okay?”

It takes him a moment to realize he’s standing there with his mouth gaping open. “Did you just say relationship?” He knows that word can mean many different things, but the way she said it, the way she talked about it … he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a little frission of something that felt suspiciously like hope run through his chest. Is there a chance …?

“Yes, of course. I mean – aren’t we? I thought – when I asked if I could kiss you, and you said yes, and we’ve been together … aren’t we in a relationship?”

Suddenly, it feels like she might be on the same wavelength as him, that maybe she might feel for him even an inkling of what he feels for her, and he was going to tell her, but again she’s beat him to the punch, always has, she’s so wonderful and fantastic and just amazing … but for once he can’t get his mouth to work, and her face falls and she’s reaching for her tunic that she had dropped on the ground, and suddenly everything is screaming _red alert_ in his brain. He reaches out to gently grab her wrist to stop her from grabbing that tunic, from walking out and leaving him before he can fix this.

“I didn’t think you were interested in a relationship. At least, not the kind where, you know, you bring food for each other, and take care of them like this and stuff.” Okay, not a great start, but she’s stopped looking like she wants to escape the room, so it’s a step in the right direction.

“What do you mean? I made the first move. I made all the moves! Why would you think I didn’t want to be with you?”

Okay, that’s true. But . . . “I thought maybe – I thought it was just all physical. I mean, some people are in those types of relationships, where it’s just making out and sex and stuff,” and her look is getting weirder and weirder, but he keeps talking for some reason, he just can’t stop himself. “Some people who do this aren’t even friends when they start it, but some are, and uh- there’s a term for it, friends with benefits …”

He stops talking when Rey’s eyes widen, and her hands rest on her hips, and _gods, she terrifying_ , even when she’s half-naked with nothing on but her soft pants and a breast band.

“You think we’re – friends with benefits – or whatever? Poe Dameron!”

“No – yes – I don’t know?” Oh kriff, he’s karked this up. He runs his hand through his hair, and he feels a sharp tug when his fingers get stuck in whatever substance has congealed in his hair. It’s now or never, he needs to tell her how he feels, before he ruins something he didn’t even really know he had. He’ll tell her how he feels, and hopefully, maybe she’ll feel the same. “I thought that was what you wanted. And that’s okay, that’s a perfectly valid type of relationship to want, especially when you’re young and free and just want to experience new things, you know? I thought that’s maybe what you wanted. And I thought I was okay with that – though, kriff, Rey, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping for something more. I care for you so, so much, you’re amazing, and brilliant, and just wonderful. I adore you, and I would love to be in a relationship with you, if that’s what you want. But even if you weren’t – Rey, I’d be willing to take whatever you’re willing to give me, if it meant the opportunity to stand in your sunshine even for just a little bit.”

He thinks he maybe managed to fix things, the way her eyes soften as he talks, the way her face and body relax, the way she moves a step closer to him.

“Poe Dameron, you’re a karking idiot!”

Okay, maybe he spoke too soon.

“In my defense, I know that?”

She laughs and takes yet another step closer until her chest is almost brushing his she’s so close, and he wants to close that gap until there’s no space left between them at all.

She licks at her lips, before taking a deep breath and meeting his gaze head on once more. “I don’t know how this works. I’ve never done this before. Rose suggested that I take that first step, said ‘Rey, you gotta be bold, and go after him if you want him. Someone else will scoop him up first if you don’t make a move.’ So, I did – at least, I thought I did. I made the first move, and stars, I thought I had gotten so lucky cause you said yes. I thought that you liked me like I like you! But Poe, I don’t know how this works. So, if you want this, I’m in, I just need a little help, I think.”

“I am _so_ in,” he says, and before the words are even fully out, she’s pressed herself against him again and she’s kissing him. He can’t help but smile even though it’s messing up the kiss, and he can feel her smile too, and suddenly it’s more a press of teeth instead of lips, and they pull away laughing.

She moves to turn the ‘fresher on, and within moments the water is the perfect temperature, and they step in, and he can’t help but think how perfect she is even when she makes a disgusted face at him as her fingers move to touch whatever is matted in his hair. By the time she’s running shampoo through his hair and rubbing at his scalp, he is in such a state of bliss that he can’t help but tell her how wonderful she is, how _kriffing amazing_ , how much he cares for her and wants to be with her. He just barely holds back from telling her how completely in love with her he is, hoping to save that for a better moment, one where he’s not dead on his feet and just so relieved he didn’t ruin everything earlier.

But she keeps making these absolutely delightful noises as he runs his mouth about all his feelings, now that he can tell her all these things, and it’s a close call, but he manages to refrain from telling her that he’s madly in love with her.

And he will. One day, soon. Cause if there’s anything he’s realized tonight, in the last few days, is that he’s such a kriffing idiot. If he had just been a bit braver, been a bit more honest, a bit more willing to put his heart on the line, he could have had this so much sooner.

She maneuvers him around so that the spray can rinse the suds out of his hair and off his body, and she takes one last opportunity to run her hands through his hair. He kind of wishes she’d let him repay the favor and let him wash her hair, but she’s manhandling him out of the shower before he can suggest it.

“Alright. Now you need sleep.”

“You’re so bossy,” he says, with what he knows to be a pretty dopey smile on his face

She shrugs. “Someone apparently has to take the lead here.”

Touché.

They’ve toweled themselves dry, and he’s thrown on a pair of his sleep pants and his eyelids have suddenly become desperately heavy. He’s about to get in bed when he realizes she’s just standing there, watching him uncertainly.

“You can stay if you want.”

“But you’re tired. You need sleep.”

He laughs, more an escape of air than any real sound. “Yeah. I’m going to sleep. But you know you can stay, right?”

She looks slightly confused. “I’ve never shared a bed except for sex.”

He cocks his head to the side, thinking. “Is that why you never stayed till morning?”

She shrugs. “Is that something people do?”

He sits on the edge of the bed. “Yes, sometimes.  A lot of the time, I think. But some people don’t like sharing a bed even when they’re together, and that’s okay. It’s up to you.” He holds his hand out to her. “But if you want to stay, I’d like to have you here. Anytime. However long you want. For sleep, or just to hang out, or … whatever you want, Rey. I’d like to wake up with you in the morning.”

She reaches out to him, and holds on to his hand for a moment. He thinks she’s going to let him down gently, that she’s too used to sleeping alone to want to stay in a small bed with him all through the night. But she lets out a giggle, before pushing past him to get on the bed.

Her hair is still wet when they lay down, but he doesn’t care. He presses his nose into the back of her neck as he pulls her tight against him. She wiggles around a bit, pushing both their bodies around, until she finally lets out a small sigh and relaxes.

He grins, presses a soft kiss to the back of her neck, and falls asleep. Morning with her can’t come soon enough.


End file.
